DC — S1E6 — Habits and Flexibility
Season 1 · Episode 6
Good morning blog-goers! Welcome to post 6 of 8. Today we discuss the fifth chapter of the book How to Change by Katy Milkman. The topic is the dangers of instability, habits, and flexibility in them. There is a quote in chapter 5 that says "too much rigidity is the enemy of a good habit." I am someone who has tried to track habits a bevy of times throughout my life, and so I entirely agree. The best habits are ones that adapt to you and your life. Milkman found that rigid and unwavering habits, such as those where you do the same thing at the same time every day, are fragile, and once you break them once or twice you are entirely thrown off. Especially if your life changes, responsibilities shift, or you take on new roles; your change is disrupted.
The alternative is flexibility, a good way to do this is something called "habit chaining" from the book Atomic Habits. First; catalog (mentally or physically) all of the things you already do routinely without needing to think about them. This can be as simple as "Wake Up" or "Brush your Teeth", or "Get Home from Work". Then, take the habit you want to start, and just slot it in whichever one of these makes the most sense. For instance if you hope to start drinking more water, just do it when you get home from work. Or if you intend to remember to take medicine, do it right after you brush your teeth. This provides a concrete situation and cue to remind you of the habit, but doesn't lock you into a specific time.
A more esoteric method that I like to think I came up with myself, could be called "area habits". Some time ago, I sat down and outlined the six most important areas of my life. Now, every day, no matter what, I do at least one thing in each of those six domains. Some days I have all the time and energy in the world, and those actions are monumental tasks that I have put off for weeks; writing twenty emails, reading a textbook, prepping dinner for the next week. Some days my life is stressful and I have barely any time at all, so those actions are minimal; reading a few pages, complimenting someone, drinking water. This is called the "principle of least action". It would work just as well for trying to quit a bad habit, though I've never wielded the tool that way. Even the smallest step forward still adds to the chain. The way you track this is overall unimportant, the reminders or calendar app on your phone works totally fine, I used to use a little app called Tusk and now I use a little notebook that fits in my pocket. Having something like a notebook lets you put what you did for the day and write your other todo's alongside the habits. The habit of just writing my tasks and habits in one place is one that has helped me tremendously, as I always know where to look to find out what I need to do every day.
The second part of this blog post is about something we did that took effort and hard work. I've done many things over the summer; too many to count, but some things make me prouder than the rest. One of those was finishing my research project and being told that I had a chance at getting it published. That is always something I've aspired to, but I imagined it would be a pursuit of grad school. Although I am not quite published yet, just hearing from my professor and advisor that my writing was good enough made me feel like the work was worth it. The paper took me six weeks of research after all, and even though I need to present it in front of a crowd, I was a little bittersweet about it becoming irrelevant as soon as the program ended. Learning that it may yet persist on makes it all a little more worth it.
The third part of this blog post is about the role of a mentor. It is never a role I have pursued, but it is one that I fall into occasionally. I have served as a mentor for my siblings and for teammates on sports teams. More concretely, I was a three time participant in the National Security Language Initiative for Youth, and I have served in informal mentorship roles for that program for the last few years. This past year however, I was invited to be an official mentor, and was paired with an incoming applicant. I did many of the same things that I had been doing before, but I guided them through the process more thoroughly; answering any questions he might have along the way. Now that he is off and in Morocco, I hope he continues to come to me with his concerns and ideas. Beyond that, as I move into the graduate school phase of my life in August, I hope to continue taking up the role of mentor for those who have to make the same choices and battle the same dilemmas that I did.
Thank you for reading, I look forward to seeing you all again next week!
— Blaise